It's been too long, but not long enough

So I'm back here.  There is so much going on in my world right now that it's almost too much to talk about; on the other hand, nothing is going on.  I've decided that I'm attempting to go back to school for IT.  My boyfriend suggested I look into it since I'm always (not now, though) on the computer.  I was looking up what IT professionals make versus what journalists make, and I'm sad to say that journalism pales in comparison.  To put it into perspective for you, professional journalists, after a few years, make less than half of what entry-level IT professionals make.  I think it will be wiser to go for more money, and keep my writing on the side.
I'm quite nervous, though.  At this point, I don't even understand what the different IT degrees mean, much less whether or not I like them enough to pursue them.  I'm worried that the classes will be too difficult and over my head, and I'll fail this like I've failed everything else.  This time, though, I'm going to study my ass off.  I'm not going to let myself get distracted, I'm going to study for my tests and I'm going to strive for a 4.0 GPA.  I owe it to myself to get my life started on the right foot, instead of standing still, letting it pass me by.  I'm going to look up everything I can about IT so I can familiarize myself with it, instead of just jumping into it without knowing what I'm getting myself into.  I'm even thinking about getting a For Dummies book on it so I can get a better grasp on the basics.  I'm not a cylon, but I definitely have a plan.
On that note, I am also not going to be on the computer as much.  I'm not going to waste my time on facebook anymore.  I'm going to read more, and I'm going to improve on my intelligence.  I have floated through life so far, but it's sink or swim time, and I'm not going to join my mom at the bottom of the pool. I am going to make the jump, and I'm going to have something to be proud of.  I'll be honest, I considered having kids just so I could feel worthwhile.  So I'd have a title.  But my title is not now, nor will it ever be "Mother."  Mark my words, it will be "IT specialist," or "programmer," but it will not be something that will control my life like having a child would.  I am very lucky to have such a wonderful, encouraging boyfriend to help guide me to the right decisions, instead of all the negativity and stress brought on by my family.  That's just a little side note.

Anyway, I am leaving this blog with a sense of pride in my decisions, and my question for you is this: Have there been any major distractions in your life that you have realized are holding you back?

To Be Or Not To Be

     As many of you know, my grandfather has taken a turn for the worse.  He has a severe bladder infection, as he is prone to in his old age, and unfortunately it seems he may not pull through.  I love my grandfather very much, but I don't wish this suffering on him, either.  In his one hundred years of life he has seen all kinds of things, like the World's Fair in New York, World War II, a dozen other countries, he ran a hardware shop for years, and even named his army tank "Celia" after my grandmother.  He's got so many wonderful stories, and so much life that he has lived, he claims that he's ready to go.  Death isn't easy for our family, but I don't think it is for any family.  It's as expected as the Spanish Inquisition, and no one wants it to knock on their door. I want to say "hopefully he will pull through this," but that's not what he wants.  I just wish he was home, where he was comfortable.  My thoughts are with him, whatever his and Death's decisions are.  I may not have gotten to spend much time with him, but he has touched my life in a profound way.  I should mention, ti's not just me he's moved so deeply.  For those who don't know, his grandfather was the first mayor of El Paso, so he is quite well known throughout the community.  If anyone would like to know more about him (and trust me, there is much, MUCH more), please feel free to ask.

     On that note, I wanted to talk to you all a little about Doctor Who.  Now I'm sure the people who are closest to me are either groaning right now because I talk about it incessantly, or they're happy because they like the show, too.  I wish you all could know how much Doctor Who moved me, how much its words resonated in my mind, and truly why I love it so much.  I also wish greatly that you all could feel as much as I did the first time I watched it.  This show has made me feel special in a way that I didn't think existed.  The character of the Doctor, specifically the ninth incarnation, makes you understand how special being an ordinary person is, and that as ordinary as you may find yourself, you can still do extraordinary things.  I have mentioned recently that I believe I feel too much, and this show shook my very soul.  Every adventure they go on, the Doctor relies simply on thought and cleverness to get out of every situation.  He utilizes every thought in the room, getting ordinary people to help him save everyone.  He is the true epitome of the phrase "live every day like it's your last," because when you're the last of your kind, every day truly is.  In one episode, Rose has a confrontation with her mum and ex-boyfriend Mickey who are trying to get her to stay, when the Doctor is doomed in space in another time:

Rose: But what do I do every day, Mum? Get up. Go to work. Catch the bus, eat chips, and go to bed.

Mickey: It's what the rest of us do.

Rose: But I can't.

Mickey: Because you’re better than us?

Rose: No, I didn’t mean that. But it was, it was a better life. I don’t mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. [To Mickey] You know, he showed you too. [continues] You don't just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no." You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away! and I just can't...!

     After that she runs off to try to help him escape his mortal peril.  The point I'm trying to make is that once you realize that you are living your life like herded sheep, it's hard to see the world any differently.  You are on this planet for so little time, and few of us make the best of it.  Why sit around having lazy days when you can be exploring the world?  I want to experience so much, and have far too little time in which to do it all.  I've tried making a bucket list before, but it always fall short because there are so many little tings to do, that it almost makes the bigger things insignificant.  I will travel to other countries.  I will learn new things, like how to snowboard.  I will bungee jump!  I will try new foods in the place of their origin.  I will make the most of this life, because when I die, I want to be as satisfied as my grandfather.  I want to die knowing that I did as much on Earth in the time I had.  So what do you want to do with YOUR life?

That's it for today.  I bid you all adieu, and today I leave you with Tom Hanks and the TARDiS.

I Will Survive

It's Monday, people, and today is brought to you by the letter F.  F as in flustered, furious, ferocious, and royally frakked (if you don't get the reference,  you need to watch more sci-fi).  It hasn't been the best of days, but when life gives you lemons, you throw them back in life's face and yell, "I don't want your damn lemons!"
I woke up this morning and have had my phone on me all day, even in the bathroom, because I was under the impression that I was going to hear from the gymnastics place that seemed to really want me.  I have been a bundle of nerves all day, and realized later that I needed to talk to them before the end of the day because a packing and shipping company had already offered me a position, and I am supposed to start that tomorrow.  I called and left a message with the receptionist since the manager (or whatever she is) wasn't available.  About an hour and a half later, I still hadn't heard from them, so I walked down to the facility to talk to the manager of the health center.  She told me that since I'm not a strong driver, she may not want me.  So I originally went in there to apply for a desk job, I got offered every position under the sun there, and then it was all taken from me because I can't drive.  Job teases.
You  know what, though?  I'm not going to let it get me down.  There are so many things that are trying to wear down my emotional barrier right now, but I'm stronger than that.  If they're going to try and pull me down, I'm not going to go down without a fight.  I'm determined to make this work.  It's going to be a good week.  I'm getting in shape, and I'm eating healthier.  I have a job, regardless of whether or not it's ideal, and I have a roof over my head.  What more can I really ask for?  Quitting is for the weak, and I'm not a quitter any longer!  I will show the world that I am stronger, and I'm gonna make it.  I feel I should quote Mary Tyler Moore here, but... Nah.
Have there been any times where you have really felt the pressures of life catching up to you?  I want to know all about it.

Bye for now, people, and today I leave you with a kitten, sweatin' to the oldies.

Passports Are Sexy

I wrote a new poem.  If you want to read it, it's the next blog post down; it's called "Ireland."  I'm not used to writing like that, but I had all of it running through my head and I felt the need to get it down in pixels.  I don't know, maybe someone will see it and think it's good enough to steal, and one day in the future I will see my poem photoshopped into a St. Patrick's day card.  You never know.  I just needed to write it because I didn't want to forget that feeling I had just now.  I'm still feeling pretty dreamy, like I haven't quite woken up yet from spending the night with my friends last night.
I'm going to let you all in on a not-so-secret secret.  I love travelling.  I have a lust for travel that only using my passport will ever satisfy.  There are so many places I want to go, so many cultures I want to learn about firsthand.  If the poem is any indication, Ireland is pretty high up on my list of places I want to travel to.  I've been fascinated with Ireland since I was a little girl, and the desire to go there has only increased with my age.  I want so badly to go, to experience its beauty and take a million pictures.  I don't want to just go there, though.  I want to see all of Europe, I want to go to Japan, to Australia, and even to Canada.  I have been so many places, but not once have I been out of the country.  There is so much world out there, and I haven't even scratched the surface of the stunning wonders it holds.
As to the places I've been, I'm definitely not belittling them.  I've had some wonderful experiences, and have traveled to pretty much every state in the lower half of the United States, Hawaii excluded.  I have been to Disney World in Florida, I've been to the San Diego Zoo in California, and the number of times I've been to Las Vegas, Nevada seems to still be increasing.  I have also been to New York, New York, which was one of my favorite experiences.  It is the second-best trip I've ever taken.  I consider myself incredibly lucky, because I got to see the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disney World the year before it retired.  I am fortunate enough to have my own pictures of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center before September 11, 2001.  I have been so lucky to travel so much with my family when I was younger, but now that I am an adult, my hunger for travel has been starved.
There is so much beauty and so many places in the world that I have yet to experience, but I know that one day, I will go to all those places.  When I am settled in my career, every vacation I get will be spent travelling.  It may not be spent out of the country every time, but I will get there.  I will broaden my horizons.  I will feel all the wonderment of a newborn child, opening their eyes for the very first time.  I will spread my wings and fly.

Now you know my travel experiences.  What about yours?  What places have you been, and are there any places that you'd like to travel to?  Dea-beannacht, readers, and today I leave you with a little language humor.

Ireland

I want to wake up somewhere new.
I want to be somewhere beautiful.
I want to go somewhere GREEN.
I want to be somewhere I've never been before.
I want to be where the hills roll on and on
     into a never-ending sunset.
I want to be soaking up the moistness
     of the cool air.
I want to feel the wooliness
     of a farmer's flock of sheep.
I want to watch the beautiful dancers
     in their Celtic dresses.
I want to drink a crisp beer at a
     pub on the corner.
I want to walk into a castle
     and feel the history as I touch its ancient walls.
I want to be engulfed in the sound of a beautiful dialect.
I want to wake up in Ireland.  <3

Bad Day?

So I'm a bit aggravated.  Not only did I wake up with a splitting headache, but I'm learning that there are a bunch of things that I can't do on my computer now that it runs better.  Also my stupid phone is once again telling me that there's no more storage space, even though I have an 8gb card in it, and I have only 4 apps that I've downloaded: Facebook, Twitter, Google Music and Draw Something.  What could POSSIBLY be taking up so much room that 8gb isn't enough?!  It's absolutely ridiculous.  I'm sorry, but I'm going to bitch about my phone for a bit.

A few words of advice: NEVER GET THE HUAWEI ASCEND II!!!!!  Not only can you not pinch pictures to make them bigger, there are a bazillion apps that don't work for your phone since you have Cricket.  Also never get Cricket unless you have a plain old brick phone.  I have no space on the thing, even though I only have the four aforementioned apps.  It's also started to not accept calls, going straight to voice mail or just not notifying me that I'm getting a call in general.  I only get texts a third of the time, and most of THAT time I can't get multimedia messages.  Seriously, 8gb isn't enough???  I find that hard to believe.

On that note, I am quite looking forward to having an iPhone, despite having a long-term grudge against Apple.  I should note that I was working for AT&T customer service when the iPhone 4 came out, which was the bane of my existence at the time, and was a die-hard Android fan before that, thus the grudge.  So I am looking forward to it, but I can't download iTunes on my computer, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do there.  I'd say I can just use my boyfriend's computer, but I've tried getting music on iTunes from someone else's computer before, and it ended disasterously.  Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate what my cousin's husband did immensely.  I wouldn't go back to how my computer was if I had the chance.  It runs as smoothly as a calm river, and I'm very happy with it.  The way it was before, if I could compare it to a river, it would be as terrifying to navigate as the Amazon.  I like running on Linux, it's just that I'm frustrated with the limitations that big companies like Apple put on it.  It seems I can't download anything mainstream.  There are ways around it most of the time, but Apple is a dick company and if you don't use their products and their products alone, they might as well have someone yell through your computer, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"

In short, phones suck, and computers suck.  I'd be all-encompassing and say that technology in general sucks, but that wouldn't be fair.  I like most of it, especially anything that makes advancements in space/time travel (cough Doctor Who cough); it's just phones and computers that I'm mad at right now. Are there any technological advances that have got you down lately?

Adios, readers, and today I leave you with what I've obviously doing wrong.

Baroness Dancer

Short blog today, as I have to get ready for what is hopefully my final "interview" at Lobo.  Unfortunately, though, I will most likely not have internet after that since my boyfriend is leaving for Austin today, and I won't be home.  I just want to give a quick update of my goals.
First of all, I am reading at least a little bit every day, so that I can see how many books I can go through in a month.  That being said, I'm not sure the number will be very high since I'm reading Game of Thrones.  If you're unfamiliar with them, they are long ass books, but they're brilliantly written, and very very good.
My next goal is to exercise every day.  I've started a small exercise regimen that increases in difficulty every day, with a rest day every five.  I'm on day two, and I'm very much looking forward to progressing through this list of exercises.  I am determined to get in shape!
My third goal is to become as flexible as a dancer.  My entire life I have always loved dancing.  I have dances for everything; a happy dance, a bacon dance (yes, a bacon dance), a this-is-the-most-awesome-thing-on-earth dance, and the list goes on.  I have been told by a few people that I dance well in clubs, but I somehow have my doubts.  However, I will improve!  I will work on my balance and flexibility to achieve my dreams.  I want to leap and feel like I'm flying.  I want to feel both my legs on a hardwood floor in the perfect split.  I want to have beautiful form, and soft curves.  I will be a dancer, whether professionally or not.

Ciao, friends, and today I leave you with exotic dancer kitteh.  The eyes, they see!!