To Be Or Not To Be

     As many of you know, my grandfather has taken a turn for the worse.  He has a severe bladder infection, as he is prone to in his old age, and unfortunately it seems he may not pull through.  I love my grandfather very much, but I don't wish this suffering on him, either.  In his one hundred years of life he has seen all kinds of things, like the World's Fair in New York, World War II, a dozen other countries, he ran a hardware shop for years, and even named his army tank "Celia" after my grandmother.  He's got so many wonderful stories, and so much life that he has lived, he claims that he's ready to go.  Death isn't easy for our family, but I don't think it is for any family.  It's as expected as the Spanish Inquisition, and no one wants it to knock on their door. I want to say "hopefully he will pull through this," but that's not what he wants.  I just wish he was home, where he was comfortable.  My thoughts are with him, whatever his and Death's decisions are.  I may not have gotten to spend much time with him, but he has touched my life in a profound way.  I should mention, ti's not just me he's moved so deeply.  For those who don't know, his grandfather was the first mayor of El Paso, so he is quite well known throughout the community.  If anyone would like to know more about him (and trust me, there is much, MUCH more), please feel free to ask.

     On that note, I wanted to talk to you all a little about Doctor Who.  Now I'm sure the people who are closest to me are either groaning right now because I talk about it incessantly, or they're happy because they like the show, too.  I wish you all could know how much Doctor Who moved me, how much its words resonated in my mind, and truly why I love it so much.  I also wish greatly that you all could feel as much as I did the first time I watched it.  This show has made me feel special in a way that I didn't think existed.  The character of the Doctor, specifically the ninth incarnation, makes you understand how special being an ordinary person is, and that as ordinary as you may find yourself, you can still do extraordinary things.  I have mentioned recently that I believe I feel too much, and this show shook my very soul.  Every adventure they go on, the Doctor relies simply on thought and cleverness to get out of every situation.  He utilizes every thought in the room, getting ordinary people to help him save everyone.  He is the true epitome of the phrase "live every day like it's your last," because when you're the last of your kind, every day truly is.  In one episode, Rose has a confrontation with her mum and ex-boyfriend Mickey who are trying to get her to stay, when the Doctor is doomed in space in another time:

Rose: But what do I do every day, Mum? Get up. Go to work. Catch the bus, eat chips, and go to bed.

Mickey: It's what the rest of us do.

Rose: But I can't.

Mickey: Because you’re better than us?

Rose: No, I didn’t mean that. But it was, it was a better life. I don’t mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. [To Mickey] You know, he showed you too. [continues] You don't just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no." You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away! and I just can't...!

     After that she runs off to try to help him escape his mortal peril.  The point I'm trying to make is that once you realize that you are living your life like herded sheep, it's hard to see the world any differently.  You are on this planet for so little time, and few of us make the best of it.  Why sit around having lazy days when you can be exploring the world?  I want to experience so much, and have far too little time in which to do it all.  I've tried making a bucket list before, but it always fall short because there are so many little tings to do, that it almost makes the bigger things insignificant.  I will travel to other countries.  I will learn new things, like how to snowboard.  I will bungee jump!  I will try new foods in the place of their origin.  I will make the most of this life, because when I die, I want to be as satisfied as my grandfather.  I want to die knowing that I did as much on Earth in the time I had.  So what do you want to do with YOUR life?

That's it for today.  I bid you all adieu, and today I leave you with Tom Hanks and the TARDiS.